Carolyn Moos, the ex-fiancee of Jason Collins, the NBA Washington Wizards’ star who said he was gay in a Sports Illustrated article on Monday of this week, talked to this video-blogger in an 18-minute interview that was designed to cover a number of questions viewers had provided.
Ms. Moos was set to marry Mr. Collins in 2009, but he called off the wedding. Then, in 2013, she learned that he was gay via a phone call, and days before his public announcement. Ms. Moos, who’s in obvious pain, says she’s supposed to visit Jason this weekend.
Here are some highlights of our conversation:
1) Carolyn says that she’s “very emotional” but she’s proud of what Jason did in coming out, but then said “there’s a lot of confusion, a lot of misunderstanding about what happened” over the eight years they were together before he elected to call off their wedding plans and date in 2009. “A lot of mixed emotions,” she says.
2) Carolyn says that the story is not about Jason’s sexual orientation, at least for her, but about “honesty with your self (and) honesty with the people who love you. And honesty with the World, and that allows you to be your full self. The more you are your full self, the more you can give to the World.”
3) I asked Carolyn if she now wonders if Mr. Collins was unfaithful to her with another man at any time during their relationship. “I trust him completely,” she says, “and I also trust that when I ask the things that I want to know, he will be very honest with me. And he will be. We’ll keep it between Jason and I, of course. But he’s an honest person.”
4) Both she and Jason met and graduated from Stanford, or for Cal grads like me ‘the hated Stanford Cardinal.’ And while she and Jason ran into each other at a lot of places on campus, they didn’t start dating until they reconnected on an overseas trip. But even with her time as a Stanford athlete, Moos isn’t one who’s into the whole Stanford / Cal rivalry thing.
5) Carolyn holds out hope that she will meet the right man, but has a plan to freeze her eggs for the future as a kind of back up plan should that not happen.
6) Carolyn says that the issue’s bigger than her and Jason and she wants to help people who have been a similar position to the one she’s in.
7) As to if she could tell he was gay at any time during their relationship, Ms. Moos said that no one knew he was – it was a total surprise. Not she or anyone in his family.
8) Carolyn revealed that she and Jason made plans to “spend some time together this weekend.” She hopes that by getting away from distractions, “there’s gonna be more, you know, kinda connection,” she says. The personal fitness trainer at http://fitt4life.org says that by Jason being “so bold” he can change the World, but also it’s important to realize how life feels from her perspective.
In all, considering the length of time they were together, the four years they were apart after Jason called off the wedding, and then his announcement that he’s gay this week (and all of the new questions that brings), it’s totally amazing that Carolyn Moos’ isn’t so angry she’s put her fist through a wall. That said, there’s something to be said for the good gym workout she got before our conversation.
Moos is a beautiful woman who you can’t help but root for. She’s totally supportive of Jason’s decision, and stands ready to fight back against any negative people that may come his way.